Do you have what it takes to walk down Brick Lane with your head held high? Do you belong in the self-consciously gritty cafés of Shoreditch with a Macbook and a soy latte on the worn wooden table in front of you? Well here's a short test to help you out.
If you've ever spent more than a few minutes on Brick Lane you must have noticed something uncanny. In an area that's supposedly eclectic and filled with individualistic artists longing to express themselves, there are a surprising number of very similar looking people.
This has lead me to believe that aliens might have landed in Shoreditch and infected the hipster population with some sort of disturbing disease. To find out if you've caught the bug, take our clever test. After that there's an option of buying expensive technology that will rid you of your fashion thetans.
1) Do you own a pair of Wayfarers?
2) Do you wear 80s sweaters with loud prints of whales/reindeer/unicorns/insert other stock animal here?
3) If you're a girl do you sometimes wear your hair in a knot on your head. If you're a boy do you have a fringe that frequently gets in your eyes?
4) Have you ever worn a flowery jumpsuit... or are you considering buying one? Men can ignore this question, unless they answer yes, then they should leave this site immediately and Google “The Real Peter Pan” just to see where they shouldn't end up.
5) Do the following outfits look hot to you?
If you've answered yes to one or more of these questions I'm afraid that you might have been infected.
Paypal money to iamnotalexachung AT hotmail DOT com for immediate help.
The problem is, I'm starting to fear I might be infected as well. Just a few days ago I ordered a bowler hat on Ebay and I am now seriously considering buying some mom-jeans and cutting them into shorts. Help.
Main image via scottparte