At this time of year I find it a challenge to move much further than my sofa, so it’s not surprising that I spend the bulk of my waking hours dressed in pyjamas.
While I’d like to pretend I swan around in a vintage babydoll and marabou slippers, the truth is far less glamorous.
My nightwear consists of an old Iron Maiden shirt that belonged to my boyfriend’s friend (who is 6’6”, I am 5’1”, for the record) and a pair of food-stained leopard print bottoms. Not so hot, but it’s comfy and warm and that’s the main arm. Here are some more glamorous options for those of you who aren’t quite so slobtastic as me.
Waffle Fair Isle PJ Set
£24, Topshop
Topshop combine their love of leggings and reindeer prints (seriously, they have everything reindeer this Christmas from bras to boots) with this festive sleepwear set. Just add roaring fire and rug and you’re all set for some kind of fantasy Christmas. Supremely comfortable-looking, but if you’re planning on romping around in front of your family and friends in this number you might want to go a size up unless you want every mince pie-induced ounce on display.
Autograph Pure Cotton Check Nightshirt
£19.50, Marks and Spencer
It’s easy to see the thinking behind this oversized men’s shirt from Marks and Spencer. Women wearing their boyfriend’s big clothes and not much else in the morning is sexy; we all know that, FHM and American Pie taught us well. Why not cut out the middle man then and just make a big shirt for the little lady to prance around in even if she doesn’t have a young man to amuse her? Smart!
'80s Marabou Feather Bedroom Slipper
$18, VanitiesVintage @ Etsy
Here they are! I know M&S used to stock these but I really struggled to find any online anywhere this time round. These ridiculous shoes sort of contradict the point of slippers; i.e. that they should be comfier and more relaxing than your normal shoes, but they are rather darling and would certainly give the pizza guy a better impression than my pink fluffy slippers which not only have a big hole but are also matted together with tea from the countless times I’ve spilt it on myself on the way to bed.
Luxe Tank, Shorts and Legwarmer Set
$148, Juicy
I know as well as you do that Juicy Couture is an awful label that sensible people should stay away from at all costs, but that doesn’t change the fact that there’s nothing I want more for Christmas than this cashmere blend sleep set. It features legwarmers for christ’s sake. How cold exactly does it get in your bed? My house is pretty draughty but my ankles usually cope OK when I’m asleep. I don’t get why they didn’t just go for socks? If you’re so cold you need to insulate half your leg, why not your feet too? Who are we to question the powers that be? The fact remains, I want this.
Matinee Kimono
£450, Agent Provocateur
I get a funny feeling this kimono isn’t designed for warmth. It doesn’t even have pockets! Pockets are incredibly useful on dressing gowns; I use mine to carry biscuits and other foodstuff to bed when I’m ill and my hands are full of tea and magazines. Again, this number would no doubt give the pizza boy the impression that you were far more glam than you really are, although it might also give him the wrong impression. Also available in white for all your slut/virgin fantasies and/or wedding.
Three Wolf Pajamas with feet
$44.95, Pajama City
I think you’ll agree, I saved the best ‘til last. Love the internet? Me too. Now you can embrace your favourite online animals while you sleep with this fleece onesie. Not only are these pyjamas hilarious, they’re warm, they have FEET (that feature grips, no less), but they also feature the all-important ‘drop seat back’. This curious description means that they have a BUTT FLAP so you don’t have to take them off to go to the toilet. Absolutely amazing.