Oh, high heels...
They're everywhere. And they're just getting higher. Most of them squash your feet and turn you into a pain control expert in a few hours. You can't walk very fast and you can't run for a bus without looking like a complete idiot. Why most fashion-loving women out there would put themselves through this is beyond my understanding.
The heels I buy will stay in my wardrobe, unworn, except for rare occasions when I decide to try them out and then regret it as soon as I walk out the door. I admire the league of high heelers out there, but I'm just not one of them.
It's not just about comfort though. There's the length issue as well. If I could walk in seriously high heels, instead of gripping on to the nearest wall, I still probably wouldn't wear them. I would just feel too tall.
Thankfully flats have been making a sneaky comeback over the last few years. I'd like to pretend it didn't all begin when Sienna Miller and pals started wearing Uggs five years ago, but it's difficult to ignore those furry shoe-things. Even though they are quite ugly and best avoided (especially if combined with a pink tracksuit).
Lately military style boots, biker boots and grungy Doc Martens have all made a comeback. Which is good news for us flat lovers. There's a lot to choose between and there seems to be something for everyone, rock chicks and fashionistas alike.
But the Sex and the City-induced shoe hoarding hysteria doesn't really seem to apply to flats. Sparkly Manolos or Louboutins just doesn't look as delicious without the heels. Thankfully there are some sexy solutions for all us heelophobes.
Vivienne Westwood has made some very cool flats for her rubbery shoe collaboration with Melissa.
For those of you with serious money to spend there's Atalanta Weller's cubist cowboy-inspired ankle boots. Atalanta also does some seriously hot heels. I might drool over them, but would never wear them.
Mid-heels are also a good compromise. They will most likely not hurt your feet and are nicer to walk in than all those oh-so-up-and-coming mega-wedges that seem to be the thing to wear this autumn. I'm lusting over these pumps by Finnish designer Minna Parikka. Sometimes it's worth trying to have your cake and eating it. Or keeping your ability to run after buses without looking like you might topple over any minute.