In the words of the love of my life, Andrew WK; when it’s time to party we will always party hard. Partying hard is an unfortunate habit of mine, but one that I’ve learned to live with. Take this post, for instance. I generally write my pieces on a Monday night, ready for the week ahead. I like to be organised and get stuff done, but I also like getting things filed away, just in case a party rears its ugly head midweek.

This piece, alas, was put to the back of my mind when I attended a bitching beauty launch this week (Jeremy Edwards from Hollyoaks was there!!1), but as I trundled home on the night bus it all ended up coming together rather nicely. How does a self confessed party monster get her shit together and make it to work looking reasonable after a hard night’s partying? Well, hangover snacks aside*, it’s all down to the products, of course!

Batiste Tropical Dry Shampoo, £1.99, all good chemists… like Boots

I almost feel embarrassed mentioning this. It’s obvious. We all know it’s the best thing in the world. Still, on the off chance that you’ve missed it, BUY IT! BUY IT! A hair wash in a can, or at least enough of a hair wash to prevent you having to actually wash your hair in the morning. Added bonus of adding volume and maintaining a blow dry, ideal for festivals/partner’s houses/desk drawer. And, this one has a ‘tropical’ scent, to cover up your natural fag ash/kebab/spilt cider in the hair odour.

Bender Mender Herbal Remedy, £3.50, Anatomicals

My positively ancient friend (31 and counting) swears by this. I know the term ‘herbal remedy’ has a hint of buying poppers at a festival stall from a man in a novelty hat, but this is an actual remedy, of a herbal basis, that does what you need it do. Delightfully vague, the folk at Anatomicals claim this was ‘invented by a widely regarded Russian doctor’, but who cares. It stops headaches, tummy aches and brain aches and at less than a fiver for six they’ll last you… ooh, a week?

Organic Remedy To Roll in Energy, £5, Neal’s Yard

Another organic remedy?  I know, what’s become of me? I’m getting old. This really sounds like hippy shit, but I promise you it’s not. Roll on your pulses points, inhale, feel instantly alert, with it and, quite possibly, less hungover. They tell me it contains sunflower oil, rosemary, lavender and grapefruit, which makes for a heady mixture but the smell instantly makes me feel better.

Boi-ing Industrial-strength Under Eye Concealer, £15.50, Benefit

This isn’t called industrial strength for fun. It covers everything. Even the ill-advised marker pen penis you drew on your forehead in a drunken stupor. It’s clearly a lot more pricey than most concealers, but you only need a teeny tiny dab to cover the under eye area and look like an all together new woman. Also works wonders on red noses/chins and those weird spots that appear after a night out, with none of the caking that some heavy concealers are prone to.

Issima Midnight Secret, £62.50 (!!!), Guerlain

OK, I’m well aware that this is horrendously expensive. Like, woah, silly money. However, hang on in there. This shit is bananas. Slather on after a heavy night out, pass out, wake up with the skin of an 11 year old. It’s that good. Ideal for spontaneous nights out when visiting parents or badly timed hen nights. I’m almost tempted to use it every night because it makes me look that good, but then I remember I should just drink more water and take my make up off. Still, for those nights when you can’t be arsed, this is actual magic in a bottle.

Blink Refreshing Daily Eye Drops, £4.00, Dry Eyes

I had never used eye drops until someone sent me these at work the other week.What?? Eye drops are insanely good. Why did no-one tell me? They sold them to me as ‘moisturiser for the eyes’, which sounds like classic PR talk but is actually true. Perfect for the end of a long day spent staring at a computer screen, as well as the morning after. Red eyes, be gone!

*My hangover snack cure is; Hula Hoop crisps (ready salted), cocktail sausages and a small carton of apple juice… care to share yours?