Pardon my French, but what the fuck has the weather been about lately I don’t know the stats but it’s got to be something like one year’s rainfall in this passed weekend, right? There were actual rivers flowing down the streets.
Personally I’m not a fan of the umbrella. I prefer a hood because I’m incapable of using a brolly without taking someone’s eye out/leaving it on the bus/breaking the spokes on first use. However I'm just a bit incompetent and it’s a universally accepted fact that umbrellas are good at keeping the rain off. If you’re gonna do it you might as well do it in style, right?
CanCan Parasol, £110, Guy de Jean at Brollies Galore
Guy de Jean is pretty much the Christian Louboutin of the umbrella world. Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t mean he hawks extremely overpriced accessories, but that he is a skilled craftsman who just so happens to make beautiful and well designed products. The company is nearly 100 years old, which is always a bonus and well, just look at it. I never thought I’d say this, but that’s one sexy umbrella.
Clear Bubble Umbrella, $18, Urban Outfitters
These 60s style umbrellas are a perennial favourite. I don’t know if they were designed with practicality in mind, but as an umbrella-incompetent type this is exactly the kind of design I need. No more walking into people and blinding them, no more keeping my umbrella up when the sun’s come out – such a simple concept but there you go, it works.
Pansy Flower Blossom Auto Umbrella, $34.95, Artist Gifts
Golf umbrellas are pretty annoying. People rarely seem to stay on the golf course with them, choosing instead to walk down Oxford Street blocking the entire pavement and decapitating people as they go. But hey, at least they’re dry. If you feel the need to protect the entire street from the rain, you might as well go for a pretty looking umbrella.
Sistine Chapel Umbrella, $40, Raindrops
If you’re anything like me, the extent of culture in your day to day life extends as far Oh No They Didn’t and the celebrity pages of the Metro in the morning. Don’t judge – have you ever tried reading a decent book while bus-surfing your way through South East London? Give your eyes a soothing break from the Z-list with a sneakily disguised bit of culture in your umbrella.
Williamsburg Blue Umbrella, $20, Bella Umbrella
A gemstone encrusted umbrella does seem faintly ridiculous in the current financial climate, but then I suppose it’s cheaper than a diamond ring and you’ve got to get your kicks where you can these days, right? Alas these umbrellas are currently only available to rent (I know, renting umbrellas?) but gee shucks it was too pretty to miss out.
Twilight Umbrella, from £17.95, I Want One Of Those
You know what it’s like. It’s raining, it’s night time, your umbrellas up – all well and good except for missing out on your view of the ~magical~ night sky. Fear not, because technology is here to help. These nifty brollies feature a scattering of LEDs or fibre optics to provide flashing, colour change or regular lights. Oh, isn’t it lovely? I urge you to check out the link to see them in action – amazing.